The Pisces by Melissa Broder

Synopsis:

 

Lucy has been writing her dissertation about Sappho for thirteen years when she and Jamie break up. After she hits rock bottom in Phoenix, her Los Angeles-based sister insists Lucy housesit for the summer—her only tasks caring for a beloved diabetic dog and trying to learn to care for herself. Annika’s home is a gorgeous glass cube atop Venice Beach, but Lucy can find no peace from her misery and anxiety—not in her love addiction group therapy meetings, not in frequent Tinder meetups, not in Dominic the foxhound’s easy affection, not in ruminating on the ancient Greeks. Yet everything changes when Lucy becomes entranced by an eerily attractive swimmer one night while sitting alone on the beach rocks.

Whip-smart, neurotically funny, sexy, and above all, fearless, The Pisces is built on a premise both sirenic and incredibly real—what happens when you think love will save you but are afraid it might also kill you.

Rating: 🌟

 

Let's get something straight right away: normally books like this aren't my thing. I've been trying to read more widely and outside of my comfort zone as of late, but fantasy is still my main jam. It's because of this that I was willing to give The Pisces a shot - it's not what I reach for in terms of genre, but balanced by The Shape of Water vibes that I thought I would enjoy it.

I didn't.

Everything about this book just made me feel gross. The main character, the side characters, even the plot itself made me feel uncomfortable and repulsed. By the time I realized the entire novel was going to be like this, it was too late to turn back; I was halfway through, and I might as well finish to count it towards my reading goal.

I can see why this would be compared to The Shape of Water - both feature a woman that engages in a romantic and sexual relationship with a non-human sea creature. But The Shape of Water is whimsical, funny, diverse, and, most of all, aware of how it fits into conversations about fantasy, race, and sexuality. The Pisces is merman erotica that spends the entire novel justifying animal abuse, pedophilia, and the harmful decisions of its pathetic main character simply because she's a "broken" woman. I say "broken" because I'm still not sure, exactly, what makes her "broken," much less what could possibly justify all the problematic shit she does.

The main character, Lucy, is intensely unlikable. She's a 38-year-old grown-ass woman, and she's still mooching off of her university's grant money for the thesis she's been writing for 9 years. As an undergrad student whose high tuition puts the fear of god in her, her abuse of university funds is deeply offensive to me. Not to mention, Lucy's entire purpose of being graciously invited to live in her half-sister's million dollar house instead of her shithole apartment is to watch her sister's dog, Dominic. Dominic has diabetes, so he needs to be given medication. But instead of taking care of her sister's sick dog, LIKE SHE'S BEING PAID TO DO, Lucy spends the majority of the novel trying to satisfy her libido by having sex with random men who couldn't give two craps about her.

That's right, folks. We get to spend the entire 270 pages watching Lucy's animal abuse unfold. She forgets to walk him, feed him, give him the medication that helps keep him alive. She starts giving him daily tranquilizer pills - overdosing him on the first try and then continuing to up the dosage as he builds resistance to it - so he doesn't bother her. SO HE DOESN'T BOTHER HER. We watch him waste away to nothing while Lucy fucks her merman lover on her sister's white couch during her period, ruining the couch by staining it with her menstrual blood. Sexy, am I right?

And Lucy's therapy group? Don't even get me started. I don't know exactly the policies surrounding therapy groups, but when a 40-year-old woman admits to wanting to have sex with her son's 16-year-old friend, believing that he is attracted to her, nothing is done. Nothing happens. No one says anything. No one calls her out on her deeply, deeply disgusting thoughts. In fact, the other women feel sympathy for her. What the fuck. What the actual fuck.

This book is an absolute garbage fire. A problematic, disgusting dumpster fire. Don't expect to find The Shape of Water here. Go watch the movie. Spend your afternoon elsewhere.

Now I Rise (The Conqueror's Saga, #2) by Kiersten White

Synopsis:

 

She has no allies. No throne. All she has is what she’s always had: herself.

After failing to secure the Wallachian throne, Lada Dracul is out to punish anyone who dares to cross her blood-strewn path. Filled with a white-hot rage, she storms the countryside with her men, accompanied by her childhood friend Bogdan, terrorizing the land. But brute force isn’t getting Lada what she wants. And thinking of Mehmed brings little comfort to her thorny heart. There’s no time to wonder whether he still thinks about her, even loves her. She left him before he could leave her.

What Lada needs is her younger brother Radu’s subtlety and skill. But Mehmed has sent him to Constantinople—and it’s no diplomatic mission. Mehmed wants control of the city, and Radu has earned an unwanted place as a double-crossing spy behind enemy lines. Radu longs for his sister’s fierce confidence—but for the first time in his life, he rejects her unexpected plea for help. Torn between loyalties to faith, to the Ottomans, and to Mehmed, he knows he owes Lada nothing. If she dies, he could never forgive himself—but if he fails in Constantinople, will Mehmed ever forgive him?

As nations fall around them, the Dracul siblings must decide: what will they sacrifice to fulfill their destinies? Empires will topple, thrones will be won…and souls will be lost.

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟

 

Me, serving my heart up to Kiersten White on a platter: please let Lada and Radu be happy in the final book PLEASE

This book hurt me. Oh, did this book hurt me. I already thought the events of And I Darken were painful, buT THEN THEY JUST GOT SO MUCH WORSE.

And it's not even just about what happened to the characters that hurts. It seeing the brutality of war. It was watching the siege on Constantinople play out. It was watching the greed of powerful people devour the weaker thousands. This can be a difficult book to stomach, dark in ways not many YA novels are willing to go. I like grimdark fantasy, and this reminds me of that.

Remember how I said I would die for Lada and Radu? I would commit murder for them now. I LOVE THEM. Lada and Radu were already so complex as children in And I Darken, but as they age and the books progress, they only get more complicated and morally gray. There were parts of this novel where I despised my sweet son Radu. Things that turned me against Lada in the first book made me adore her even more deeply in this one. That's a testament to how intricate and real White has made her characters: as easy to love as they are to hate, just like people in real life.

Mehmed, though? He can choke. This book made me fall so hard out of love with Mehmed that the whiplash nearly snapped my neck.

While I think this book came to a more white-knuckled on the last 100 pages conclusion than And I Darken did, Now I Rise does unfortunately suffer from second book syndrome. Y'know, where all the delicious twists you loved in the first book sloooooow down in favor of setting up one, BIG conclusion? And by doing that eliminate a lot of the little plot points that kept the tension in the first book? Now I Rise did manage to shake itself free of that about half-way through, but it still made the first 150-200 pages a bit of a slog to get through.

I also questioned how Lada came to feel so strongly for Hunyadi after only a month or two of knowing him. It took her YEARS to reach a similar level of love towards Mehmed and Radu in the first novel. It just felt a little out of place for her character.

Even though it took a bit too long to warm up, Now I Rise delivered an emotional climax and conclusion that hit infinitely harder than its predecessor. I loved it.

And I Darken (The Conqueror's Saga, #1) by Kiersten White

Synopsis:

 

No one expects a princess to be brutal. And Lada Dragwlya likes it that way. Ever since she and her gentle younger brother, Radu, were wrenched from their homeland of Wallachia and abandoned by their father to be raised in the Ottoman courts, Lada has known that being ruthless is the key to survival. She and Radu are doomed to act as pawns in a vicious game, an unseen sword hovering over their every move. For the lineage that makes them special also makes them targets.

Lada despises the Ottomans and bides her time, planning her vengeance for the day when she can return to Wallachia and claim her birthright. Radu longs only for a place where he feels safe. And when they meet Mehmed, the defiant and lonely son of the sultan, Radu feels that he’s made a true friend—and Lada wonders if she’s finally found someone worthy of her passion.

But Mehmed is heir to the very empire that Lada has sworn to fight against—and that Radu now considers home. Together, Lada, Radu, and Mehmed form a toxic triangle that strains the bonds of love and loyalty to the breaking point.

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

 

Y'ALL. HOW DID I EVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS BOOK.

I originally read this in February of 2017, but then never continued the series? What was wrong with me?? I knew I loved it. I knew I wanted to read the next book. @ past me, you good???

I honestly think I loved this even more the second time around. I don't usually reach for historical fiction novels - even though I love history - and reading And I Darken makes me desperately want to remedy that.

I adore reading about court intrigue, and this novel is a political powerhouse of it. Lada and Radu fit wonderfully within the complex web of loyalties and betrayals. Their different aspirations play off each other really well, and I love that they defy the roles expected of them. Lada is nasty and brutal and has the physical prowess to best most men. Radu is clever and pretty and so unsuspectingly pleasant that he can outmaneuver even the most skilled courtesan. So, to say the least, I would Die for them.

I'm not familiar with Vlad the Impaler (the historical figure that inspired Lada) or the Ottoman Empire during this time period, so I can't speak to the accuracy or liberties taken by Kiersten White. Since I can only take this story at face value fiction, the plot is twisty, constantly being driven forward by the whims of powerful people. Despite the novel opening on Lada and Radu as young children, their journey as kids is just as enthralling as when they're older.

Also, Kiersten White thank you for delivering on the gays. This is the kind of content I'm here for.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms (Inheritance Trilogy, #1) by N.K. Jemisin

Synopsis:

 

 

Yeine Darr is an outcast from the barbarian north. But when her mother dies under mysterious circumstances, she is summoned to the majestic city of Sky. There, to her shock, Yeine is named an heiress to the king. But the throne of the Hundred Thousand Kingdoms is not easily won, and Yeine is thrust into a vicious power struggle.

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟

I love this book. The synopsis really doesn't do it justice. This is a book of mad gods, enslaved for millennia to their human masters. It's set in a palace perched half a mile above the ground, filled entirely with people with the power to wield godhood. It's about Yeine hunting the reasons for her mother's death. It's about her terror and lust for the very gods she, by birthright, can control.

When I first read this novel, it was my favorite, THE favorite. Having reread it, I don't think it is anymore - and that's okay. When it first came to me, it was right for me. But I've changed in the year and half since I first read it, and that's okay too. This novel is still incredible, and still holds a special place in my heart.

What absolutely mesmerizes me with this novel is how N.K. Jemisin characterizes the gods that inhabit this world. In fantasy novels, I find the gods are either so absent that they're more ideas than characters, or so present that they feel too human. Jemisin captures how unknowable and vast and ancient her gods are, despite being suppressed by their enslavement to humanity. The gods in this book are terrifying - not because of their power, but because of how it lurks beneath a lie of humanity. They play at being mortal, cowing to the humans that hold their chains. But they're gods, and Jemisin never lets you forget it. I've never seen such a unique balance struck quite like this before. I will forever love Nahadoth and Sieh is my sweet son.

There's something just inherently uncomfortable about this world. The majority of the novel takes place in the palace called Sky, which is so sanitized and scrubbed of anything - both good and bad - that the setting itself is off-putting. There's no warmth to it, but neither does it play particularly toward repulsive. People do despicable things in Sky, but none of these exactly make it onto the page in-scene. It's the lack of comfort that makes the world unsettling, not so much the horrible things that happen within it. It's weird, but in a good way.

What bothered me most upon rereading was realizing how Yeine really is little more than a pawn, no matter how much she tries to be otherwise, to basically everyone. Her family wants to use her. The gods want to use her. When I originally read this I thought her relationships moved beyond this over the course of the novel, only to reread and realize actually they really don't. It was frustrating, because I felt like I couldn't really enjoy any of her relationships with the other characters. Her relationships evolve beyond the initial "I'm just using you" mentality, but at some level the pretense is always there. No one ever quite loves her, not really. They love what she represents, at the core, not who she is.

But despite my issues with the way Yeine is treated, I still love this book. Jemisin's world-building is to die for, her storytelling is unique, and I always grow as a reader and writer whenever I read her books. You've gotta pick this one up!

Radiance (Wraith Kings, #1) by Grace Draven

Synopsis:

 

~The Prince of No Value~

Brishen Khaskem, prince of the Kai, has lived content as the nonessential spare heir to a throne secured many times over. A trade and political alliance between the human kingdom of Gaur and the Kai kingdom of Bast-Haradis requires that he marry a Gauri woman to seal the treaty. Always a dutiful son, Brishen agrees to the marriage and discovers his bride is as ugly as he expected and more beautiful than he could have imagined.

~The Noblewoman of No Importance~

Ildiko, niece of the Gauri king, has always known her only worth to the royal family lay in a strategic marriage. Resigned to her fate, she is horrified to learn that her intended groom isn’t just a foreign aristocrat but the younger prince of a people neither familiar nor human. Bound to her new husband, Ildiko will leave behind all she’s known to embrace a man shrouded in darkness but with a soul forged by light.

Two people brought together by the trappings of duty and politics will discover they are destined for each other, even as the powers of a hostile kingdom scheme to tear them apart.

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟

I was simultaneously impressed and disappointed with this book. Lemme explain.

Since this is a fantasy romance novel - emphasis on the romance - I expected Ildiko and Brishen's characters and relationship to be the best part, and for the world-building and plot to just sort of be "meh." Instead, I was pleasantly surprised by how thoughtful the world was, while Ildiko and Brishen fell a little flat for me.

I've read enough YA novels to know how paper-thin a fantasy world can be. Not so with Radiance. While the world wasn't particularly original, the infrastructure of the cultures was more fleshed out than even some of my most beloved fantasy novels. You can tell a lot of thought and research went into it.

I also particularly adored how Grace Draven emphasized the difference between human and Kai, both in terms of physicality and culture. I find that in fantasy novels, difference between races is either such an incredible chasm that the two are just too different, or are so alike that you wonder at their difference at all. Draven made the Kai feel distinct and alien, while still compatible to humankind - a balance I haven't yet seen as artfully done in any other fantasy novel.

As for Ildiko and Brishen, I wanted to love them. I really did. Their first interactions while still in Gaur had me excited about them. But that's the thing - their time in Gaur, at the opening of the novel, is the pinnacle of their relationship. Their banter is clever and flirtatious, careful and curious. I loved it. But it doesn't last. Too soon, they fall into ease with one another. Too soon, they're sweet and caring to each other. It's not love or lust - not yet - but it's too comfortable to feel sexy and swoon-worthy. That clever banter gets drier and drier until it just feels like someone's smacking the dead horse over and over.

Maybe this just wasn't for me. I don't often read romance novels, but ooh if I don't love a little smut in my life. But even the smut, by the time it came, read as uninspired as Ildiko and Brishen's relationship.

So why'd I rate this book so highly? Because it is a good novel, even if the romance portion fell flat for me. The world-building is attentive, the prose is solid, and the side characters are so lively that I hope some of them get their own novels. And that ending encourages me that the next novel will be more plot-driven, spurring me on to continue living in this world if only for a little bit longer.

The Last Namsara (Iskari, #1) by Kristen Ciccarelli

Synopsis:

 

In the beginning, there was the Namsara: the child of sky and spirit, who carried love and laughter wherever he went. But where there is light, there must be darkness—and so there was also the Iskari. The child of blood and moonlight. The destroyer. The death-bringer.

These are the legends that Asha, daughter of the king of Firgaard, has grown up learning in hushed whispers, drawn to the forbidden figures of the past. But it isn’t until she becomes the fiercest, most feared dragon slayer in the land that she takes on the role of the next Iskari—a lonely destiny that leaves her feeling more like a weapon than a girl.

Asha conquers each dragon and brings its head to the king, but no kill can free her from the shackles that await at home: her betrothal to the cruel commandant, a man who holds the truth about her nature in his palm. When she’s offered the chance to gain her freedom in exchange for the life of the most powerful dragon in Firgaard, she finds that there may be more truth to the ancient stories than she ever could have expected. With the help of a secret friend—a slave boy from her betrothed’s household—Asha must shed the layers of her Iskari bondage and open her heart to love, light, and a truth that has been kept from her.

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟

I was wary going into this book. Despite dragons being the first thing many of us think of when we hear "fantasy," most dragon books just aren't that great. But this is a great dragon book, and I really enjoyed it.

A lot of strong YA heroines are really hit or miss, and often feel like the same formulaic badass girl copy and pasted over and over again. Not so with Asha. She was complicated and conflicted, strong and scarred. I thought Kristen Ciccarelli did a great job at showing the royal arrogance ingrained naturally in Asha by her upbringing, without making said arrogance insufferable. Asha would walk away from conversations without any social grace. She didn't linger on the lives of those below her. And so seeing Asha's transformation over the course of the novel was all the more satisfying as she changed these behaviors.

I especially loved the writing in this novel. It's not exactly the sort of complex prose I salivate over, but Ciccarelli is fantastic at creating tension and making her sentences sting. She captured brutality and weakness wonderfully, and had me on the edge of my seat during exchanges with Jarek, Asha's betrothed and a true villain in the novel.

Also, can we talk about Torwin? I LOVED him. I LOVED his relationship with Asha. I LOVED how Asha's physical prowess and strength out-shined his own, but his cleverness made Asha stop up short. The hyper-masculine, over-protective love interest YA adores? NOPE. These two turned that problematic trope on it's head and oh my god I'm living for it.

One problem I did have with the novel, however, is that I'm 95% sure all of the characters are supposed to be poc, yet their skin tones are never. ever. mentioned. Why? They live in a desert kingdom. They all have dark hair and dark eyes. Why can't we ever get a dark skin, brown skin, HEY WE'RE NOT WHITE mention ever?? I'd even take a "tan" mention. It just seems cowardly to me to leave it vague enough that readers could imagine the cast as all white, yet drop enough poc hints that if someone calls Ciccarelli on it, she could still be like "ACTUALLY if you look here, here, and here..." I don't like that.

I'm also lowkey a lil salty that each book in this trilogy will be a stand-alone, because I really thought this book was setting me up for an Asha trilogy. But I will read the next book, even if I miss Asha.

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Synopsis:

 

Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian’s heart to the Sea Queen or remain a human forever.

The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it’s his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she’s more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind’s greatest enemy?

Rating: 🌟🌟

Really mixed feelings on this one. Objectively, this is a good YA fantasy. It doesn't bring anything new to the table, but the world-building has thought behind it and the characters have some meat to them. But un-objectively, this book is boring as hell.

It started off promising, but took so long to build up to the events in the synopsis that I knew pacing was going to be an issue before Lira and Elian even met. This is a 342 page stand-alone fantasy. It shouldn't take nearly 100 pages to begin what was promised in the synopsis - there simply isn't enough length for that. As a result, the plot and pacing suffered. The final 50 pages were rushed and the writing only got clumsier and clumsier as it climbed toward the happy ending.

Yup, you heard me. This book that promises brutality and betrayal? Ends on a happy ending. It's not satisfying. It's a cop-out.

Both Lira and Elian's characters started out, just like the premise, promising. Lira was set up to be the brutal, cold-hearted killer princess she should've been. Elian was to be the charming, quick-witted trickster prince. Both of them are character tropes, yes, but character tropes I adore when done well. Instead, they just ended up rather bland. Their banter wasn't as clever as the author would like you to believe, and certainly not amusing. It's like this book was afraid of itself - too scared to embrace the brutality it promised.

It was fine. It was forgettable. Maybe I'm just not cut out for YA retellings - they always seem to disappoint me.

Into the Drowning Deep (Rolling in the Deep, #1) by Mira Grant

Synopsis:

 

Seven years ago, the Atargatis set off on a voyage to the Mariana Trench to film a “mockumentary” bringing to life ancient sea creatures of legend. It was lost at sea with all hands. Some have called it a hoax; others have called it a maritime tragedy.

Now, a new crew has been assembled. But this time they’re not out to entertain. Some seek to validate their life’s work. Some seek the greatest hunt of all. Some seek the truth. But for the ambitious young scientist Victoria Stewart this is a voyage to uncover the fate of the sister she lost.

Whatever the truth may be, it will only be found below the waves. But the secrets of the deep come with a price.

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟

 

This would've been a five star read for me had I not read the prequel novella. This book really is incredible - but much of the mystery and suspense was taken away from me because I already understood the creatures based off of the novella. Instead, the suspense just made for a slow read, despite how absolutely amazing the premise and world-building is.

One of my biggest critiques of the novella was not having enough space to really care about the large cast of characters, and Into the Drowning Deep fixes that by leaps and bounds. Every character had their own personality and goals, and really stood out from one another. I didn't particularly love anyone, but all of them were very thoroughly fleshed-out.

Also, gay girls in this book. Thank you goddess Mira Grant (Seanan McGuire).

Highly, HIGHLY recommend this one!!!

The Abyss Surrounds Us (The Abyss Surrounds Us, #1) by Emily Skrutskie

Synopsis:

 

Cas has fought pirates her entire life. But can she survive living among them?

For Cassandra Leung, bossing around sea monsters is just the family business. She’s been a Reckoner trainer-in-training ever since she could walk, raising the genetically-engineered beasts to defend ships as they cross the pirate-infested NeoPacific. But when the pirate queen Santa Elena swoops in on Cas’s first solo mission and snatches her from the bloodstained decks, Cas’s dream of being a full-time trainer seems dead in the water.

There’s no time to mourn. Waiting for her on the pirate ship is an unhatched Reckoner pup. Santa Elena wants to take back the seas with a monster of her own, and she needs a proper trainer to do it. She orders Cas to raise the pup, make sure he imprints on her ship, and, when the time comes, teach him to fight for the pirates. If Cas fails, her blood will be the next to paint the sea.

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This book has everything I love: pirates, sea monsters, and gay girls.

The Abyss Surrounds Us is wickedly good. It's fast-paced, got a tight plot, and did I mention gay girls? Emily Skrutskie's world-building is interesting and has enough depth to feel believable, though I do think she could have pushed it a little deeper. This is definitely a YA read, which I didn't realize until I started reading. This is an extremely strong addition to the ever-growing YA genre.

I thoroughly enjoyed this novel, but it's not a five star read for me because of the writing. It does the job, but doesn't push to be really, really good. Skrutskie is excellent at writing action scenes, however.

Y'all gotta read this book.

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

Synopsis:

 

Children can have a cruel, absolute sense of justice. Children can kill a monster and feel quite proud of themselves. A girl can look at her brother and believe they’re destined to be a knight and a bard who battle evil. She can believe she’s found the thing she’s been made for.

Hazel lives with her brother, Ben, in the strange town of Fairfold where humans and fae exist side by side. The faeries’ seemingly harmless magic attracts tourists, but Hazel knows how dangerous they can be, and she knows how to stop them. Or she did, once.

At the center of it all, there is a glass coffin in the woods. It rests right on the ground and in it sleeps a boy with horns on his head and ears as pointed as knives. Hazel and Ben were both in love with him as children. The boy has slept there for generations, never waking.

Until one day, he does…

As the world turns upside down, Hazel tries to remember her years pretending to be a knight. But swept up in new love, shifting loyalties, and the fresh sting of betrayal, will it be enough?

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟

After LOVING The Cruel Prince and HATING Tithe, I was apprehensive about The Darkest Part of the Forest. I'd heard mixed things, and honestly probably would not have picked up had I not adored The Cruel Prince. But I'm happy to say that if you loved The Cruel Prince, you'll like this one.

I've come to realize that you read Holly Black's books for her characters. As much as I enjoy her faerie lore and how she blends myth with reality, I don't think her world-building is strong enough to carry her books. Black's rich cast of characters is what keeps you reading. I absolutely adored Ben, and Hazel was so wonderfully complex. Severin fascinated me. I thought Jack was the weakest of the main cast, but I think that has to do more with his relevance to the plot fizzling out than bad characterization.

However, it's exactly because I read for Black's characters that I thought The Darkest Part of the Forest stumbled in places. I mourn Ben's lack of screen time in comparison to Hazel. I thought he was just as compelling, but the majority of the novel is told through Hazel's POV. That started to shift about halfway through, but instead of giving the brother-sister duo equal page time until the end, Ben gets the shaft in favor of Hazel. And we never get his POV again.

I was significantly more invested in Ben and Severin, but instead the focus was on Hazel and Jack. It killed some of my enjoyment. If the novel's intent was to tell Hazel's story, why include Ben's POV chapters? Why tease an LGBT+ relationship, but then refuse to let the reader see it unfold? I guess I just don't understand. It would've been so easy to incorporate both Hazel AND Ben's POV chapters, so I don't see why Ben has almost none in comparison to Hazel.

While I appreciate that Hazel is a complicated heroine that defies tropes, I found her hard to like. She's in a similar vein as Jude from The Cruel Prince - an anti-heroine - but unlike Jude, I didn't always understand Hazel. I love Jude because even though she can be cruel and brutal, I understand the motivation behind her actions. I understand what made her act that way. And so even if I don't necessarily approve of her actions, I can root for her because I understand her. In Hazel's case, I didn't always grasp the reasons behind her viciousness.

I really liked Black's writing in this. I don't like her early writing, but she's definitely finessed her craft over the years, and you can definitely see the difference when compared.

My thoughts can really be boiled down to: too much Hazel, not enough Ben. If Black had better balanced their two narratives, or decided to focus exclusively on one or the other, this would've been a five star book for me.